Failure to Launch is a term given to the rising number of young people who fear leaving home—the home they grew up in or otherwise their parent’s home—for various reasons. The leading underlying cause appears to be doubt and fear in the ability to care for oneself. Getting support in anxiety treatment can help!
It is scary. Graduation day from high school has been something we have looked forward to for the past four years. It represented a change, a chance to become who we wanted to be. To take on the world and leave our own mark. But then the time came, and the fear was overwhelming. The doubt was overpowering.
The Inner Thoughts…
How can I be sure that I am really ready to be on my own? Here, with my family, I know that I have more than enough food. I have shelter and a warm place to sleep. I have happy memories, love, and security here with my family. But out there, I am on my own. How can I be expected to pay all of my bills, buy food, and heck, even know what to pay or buy? What happens if I fail or I struggle?
The idea of getting out on my own and being responsible for myself is terrifying! I do not believe that I am prepared to do so. It seems overwhelming to consider it alone. Not only do these factors play into this fear, but the fact is that the world is a dark and scary place. I do not want to feel alone, and I do not want to be uncomfortable.
At no point in my life do I feel that I was prepared for this day to come. I am not alone in this feeling, though. Friends have gone off to college, received degrees, found work, and still live at home. It is safe there. It is home.
Leaving home feels like starting from scratch. Building a life with no resources and nothing to my name. What if I lose my job? What will I do then? Start over for the third time? When do I find my footing to become my own person and be comfortable again? I have never even cooked my own meal or had to do my own laundry!
It is complicated and challenging, but more than anything, it is scary. I have heard stories from my parents and grandparents about the lives they lived. Moving out at eighteen, having careers, and being married by twenty-two with kids by twenty-three. Even my friend’s parents who went to college followed similar paths. They would graduate, find a job, and immediately start their new lives.
Fears that Young Adults Face
I fear falling into this cycle will trash my life. If I am focused on making sure I pay all of my bills, work 40 hours, and am solely responsible for myself, it will result in losing time with friends. I will lose time doing the things I enjoy. I have never had to pay my own bills or worry about anything. It had always been taken care of for me, and I feel woefully underprepared for life as an adult.
At this point, I am not even sure where to begin or how to address the anxiety. It feels like being locked in a dark room with doors all around. I don’t know if they lead to something better or something unbearable since I cannot see them. So, instead of trying any of them, I am stuck. Of course, my parents encouraged me to find an apartment. They have even offered to help pay for the first few months of rent. But that does not make me feel any better.
There is no motivation to change. My parents ensured that I never had to struggle or face challenges in life. While they bring up the idea of me finding a job and moving out, I don’t think they are serious. I believe they want me here as much as I need to be here.
What to do about Failure to Launch, and how to address it with Anxiety Treatment in Florida!
Failure to launch is not an uncommon situation for families to deal with. While it is more common among young men than women, any young adult and their family can face this struggle. It becomes most noticeable around the time of high school graduation but can also happen when the young person returns from college and fails to find work.
It is critical to note that returning home from college for a stint or remaining in the home for a while after high school is not necessarily a sign of failure to launch. But if the young person lacks any motivation or focuses on future goals, then it very well could be.
Many parents wonder if they could have done something wrong to contribute to their child’s lack of motivation and inability to go out on their own. The truth is there are several factors that play a role in this situation. Mental health, parenting styles, and family dynamics are just a few examples.
If this is a situation you face, you are not alone. Millions of young adults (age 25+) are opting to stay at home.
The good news is that there are several ways you can approach this roadblock.
In young childhood, allow the child the fail. Allow them to face age-appropriate challenges on their own. This will give them the confidence to continue doing so as they grow. While it is natural for parents to want to protect their children and save them from struggle and hurt, it is a necessary learning and growing aspect of development. Additionally, allow them to take on age-appropriate chores including yard work, caring for pets, cooking, cleaning, etc.
Begin Anxiety Treatment and Young Adult Therapy in Florida!
If you are currently dealing with the challenge of failure to launch, you can begin by setting boundaries. Setting the expectation that if your young adult will be living in the home, they must contribute financially and to household chores. Potentially even having a move-out date.
If there are underlying mental health factors such as Asperger’s, severe ADHD, or other forms of Autism, counseling can be incredibly beneficial.
If you and your young adult are facing failure to launch contact True You Always Counseling to see how they can support you. They are located in Bavard County, Fl, but offer anxiety treatment to all Florida residents via telehealth.
This is not a situation you have to navigate alone. It can be very challenging to make such drastic changes and ensure everyone sticks to the changes they need to. Having an anxiety therapist to discuss each person’s concerns, job-related stress, and fears can make the transition easier to navigate. To get started, follow these simple steps:
- Contact True You Always
- Meet with our anxiety therapists
- Start helping your young adult find independence and confidence for their future.
Other Services at True You Always
Here at True You Always, we offer many services with a wide range of therapists. We are here to walk alongside you no matter what you’re dealing with. Our goal is to provide a safe and accepting space for you to breathe and be your authentic self. Along with therapy for teens, we offer additional services at our Florida practice. You may also be interested in therapy for first responders, therapy for work stress, anxiety, and stress treatment, or PTSD treatment and trauma therapy. Additionally, we offer couples therapy, family therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, therapy for disordered eating, support for families with a loved one struggling with ED, therapy for adults, substance use disorders, therapy for spouses of first responders, play therapy, therapy for allergies, and chronic illness. All services are offered via online therapy in Florida so you can get help from the comfort of your own space.